Don’t you just love babies? The smell of powder, no tear shampoo, drool and poopy diapers not so much. I have kept so many children over the years, from helping with Kindergarteners when I was in high school to watching after schoolers. Babies weren’t so bad. As long as they are not screamers. Eight or so elementary age, that could do something or pass the time guessing charades in the afternoon, okay. Twenty five was a lot but I managed, and I was only seventeen. Then there was the day I got turned loose with sixty and one wild, little, man running circles in front of me. That was an afternoon to forget, daycares are supposed to have ratios. Things happen I get it, but was too many.
I quit daycare early on. But I did help keep children in family daycare and pursued that writing career I wanted. I have never adopted any children, I don’t have or never have had any foster children. My mother has full custody of a great granddaughter, she is a handful. Note to relatives of children who are going to children’s services, let them go and then foster unless parental rights are severed and you can adopt. Why? They will give relatives the first chance if you let them know.
As a foster, you will be entitled to more benefits. Mother did not qualify for daycare and very little state help. There was also a lot of run around without knowing the family history, psychologists and mental health issues. ADHD and ODD, she let the brother go to another foster home and he has been moved again. You have to be prepared for some of the challenges and the having to let go. There was also another baby, born after she had custody of those two. DFACS wanted her take back the boy and the baby, I was against it. She said no, she knew it was too much mentally and physically.
I have always prayed for children, prayers of protection. I have prayed for sick children. I know the Lord has stepped in and out of my life with children and ideas. A lot of the story lines I have considered for that great novel had children at their center. I am always thinking of children’s books.
I have seen some that I kept that have grown up. But mostly they have gone on and that’s fine. I managed to sow good seeds into those little gardens, they left me singers and praisers, able to color and draw and some reading and writing, and with the knowledge of Jesus’ love. One little girl had profound fears, but she overcame them. She became bright and beautiful and played chess and tennis, neither of which I have mastered. I have never once won a game of chess. And badminton is about as close as I’ve been to tennis. This little girl once had a seizure, it was so bad I called her father, and told him I was dialing 911, if he didn’t get there and get her to the hospital. She looked dead in my mother’s arms, but now that I know as much about prayer and faith, that was the best place for her to have been. She recovered quickly at the hospital. I’m sure it panicked her father who was only about three blocks away. But Jesus has been good to us and He loves the little children.
I also kept a little boy from being a baby to over eight. He could read the Bible and books by people like Benny Hinn. He’d read them to my mother. He came in from school sick one day, I prayed for him, gave him some grape Tylenol, and let him go to sleep. He once went on a trip with his parents, when he got back he told me about the caverns he’d gone through how deep and dark. ” Becky, it’s just like where the devil lives. ” he said.
I loved all the little princesses and ballerinas and cowboys and pirates, even though there were some that stood out. I wasn’t always in the good health myself, but I did my best. Even with a few that were handfuls and demanding. That’s why healing and the Lord took over my life.
Everyone has something to offer. After talking to people in social services, I’m waiting to see where the Lord leads me. He told me by the Holy Spirit, I had fostered children, so I looked it up.
Foster / 1. nurture child: to provide a child with care and upbringing 2. develop something: to encourage the development of something 3. to keep a feeling or thought alive
In this sense, I have. I will definitely obey His will but I felt led to encourage other believers to consider this. If you can adopt, foster or mentor, please do so. Children need to hear about Jesus. I’m concerned that so many don’t know the love of Jesus. Abuse and neglect have caused them to live in fear. They are growing up under bridges and in crack houses. I know the behavior can be a problem, but nothing is impossible with God. But it takes faith, help, and sometimes the financial support of the state. It should go to people who are doing the right things for children.
Please consider this with me and even if it is only developing character. Please do it. Help a child. Mentor, visit, take them for pizza, and especially relieve the parents with special needs children if you can or have medical training. I never knew how much those children benefited from their time with me or how much my prayers were denting the enemy.
As of mid June, our home is approved for respite care but I don’t see us taking any children because the past four years of court and visitations, deaths, and the drugs involved were a lot. Children from drug addicted parents will often need special help but I have seen them do very well. It is hard for family to deal with visitation, that is better left to DFACS, mother got a call this morning about M. Her mother has been wanting her for the summer. Without going into detail, the answer is no, even if she goes to court it will be no. The judge is not fooled. And God is not fooled, He is not mocked, and you reap what you sow.
I believe time is short here with society the way it is, as I said for personal and health reasons I don’t foresee taking any more children but I encourage anyone who can to do so. I am not painting a bleak picture, they are not all going to be difficult, but you could get a messy child who will try to eat you out of house and home, slam doors, be combative, abusive, even violent and use foul language.
If you can do foster or adopt, they won’t all be that way, but six years later, I would have to step back and rethink it. I read a girl’s story. She could not have children and never wanted to adopt. She now has a foster child and wrote about his tantrums in public, the screaming and the ” I wish you weren’t my mother. ” I usually get, ” You’re not my real mom! ” And believe me my mother being told what to do by a little, old, lady at the restaurant when she has fifty years of childcare experience is embarrassing.
And everyone with a cell phone, and a screamer on the loose at the department store is a nightmare. Please don’t be judgemental, I once would have those the children weren’t made to behave. That is not necessarily true. I remember taking fifteen to the zoo, and can’t take one to out to eat. I know I kept children whose parents drank, smoked some pot or even took some pain pills, but never to the extreme. Maybe, times have changed or more likely people haven’t and won’t. Parents who choose that lifestyle are doing their children a disservice if they don’t get help.
My heart and prayers are with you and God will bless your efforts. Like I said, He loves the little children of the world. And He loves you too, praying God’s best for you and His wisdom and discernment.