Do you feel you have to make things up to Jesus? Your miserable life before you knew Him or perhaps, even afterward? Does something sort of click in your head like doing penance or flagellation? I think it has in mine and I didn’t really realize it. That is not something Jesus would have you carry on a born again heart. I think we are to keep a repentant one and that true believers are not always sinning but may have some of omission. The Holy Spirit teaches and guides you and you do not want to hurt the one who heals your heart.
I tried to make up for a lot of things, and I just couldn’t do it. I could not change people’s past or their feelings or fix their hurts. Not with words, even though I’m good with them. I always felt that I had an understanding and forgiving heart. I was still letting old problems hurt my heart. And I thought I could explain things with compassion, and even see different points of view. The enemy has a way of skewing things though, doesn’t he?
The Lord has impressed on me the difference of perception and deception. Jesus perceived things, even thoughts. He impresses us with His Spirit though. Like a magician, the enemy is full of tricks and will throw them at you. There was children’s song I used to sing and it still rings true it goes.
1,23…..the devil’s after me. 4,5,6, he’s always throwing sticks, 7,8,9, he misses every time, hallelujah, hallelujah, amen.
1,23…..the devil’s after me. 4,5,6, he’s always pulling tricks, 7,8,9, he misses every time, hallelujah, hallelujah, amen.
Somehow, I feel like I might got have hit lately though, and maybe it was bricks. You don’t need a piano to fall on your head to know that God’s Word is real and there is a real enemy. We have nothing to prove to anyone or Jesus, He knows if you love Him.
Jesus is not expecting you to pay for His gift of salvation, you could never repay Him. It would not be grace, and He loved us enough to do it and we do not want to take His precious gift lightly. He is enough for us and is not condemning but correcting us. If you, like me, are carrying around something in your heart, roll it over on Him.
I did not even realize some of the angst that was there, the blaming myself, the shame and guilt thinking I was not a good enough example as a Christian, years of evil whispers and accusations hurled by the enemy and the world even other Christians. But Jesus heals broken hearts, doesn’t He?
He expects us to guard it and our words, even what we think. But He knows hearts, he wants them to be both strong and tender, that can get you hurt, but with His Spirit we will learn and to let Him heal all heart wounds. They really can run deep, I still catch myself thinking, ” If I had done or said this or that. ” It would not matter when people don’t agree, see your point or love like you.
I felt I needed to make up for lost time with Jesus. But I haven’t lost any time with Him. Was I always doing what He wanted? Yes and no. He had made a better way. And He was watching over His Word to perform it. Isaiah 55:11. It was never my assignment to make up to Jesus for what He did for me. He did it out of love. I just loved Him and tried to over do.
Lots of parents even expect to be paid back. My mother isn’t one of them, I know what she did for me was out of love and she worked too hard, I fell into that trap. I could not fix other people even following Jesus, no matter how closely. No matter the intimacy with the person or the Lord. Some things they have to talk to Him about, it is their business, even though I always told people I didn’t need to know all about them.
I found the deception of drug users disconcerting. Their lies hurt my family and theirs. I pray for requests still but I always tell people that the person has to want to change, the Lord forces His love on no one, it is a choice. Even the decision not to foster, was hard because I really tried to help with them. The Lord told me it was not a failure.
I prayed for people with back pain because of mine. For babies, because I never had one. Comforted people over losses. I never thought I was trying to be super Christian or a know it all. I never felt I was trying to make up for things I had not done, the sins of omission, but maybe I was. I had to be and Jesus doesn’t expect repayment. He paid a debt He did not owe, one I could not pay or repay. He purchased and redeemed me from hell, and I just so wanted others to know that for themselves, but just because I want better for them, maybe they don’t.
I really taught about healing, and felt awful if someone wasn’t. I was losing my health over helping others, it happens. I want us to take a step back and rethink our walks. I never was doing things for my glory but His, I just was overdoing. We need His rest and His peace, don’t let the enemy trick you out of the joy of helping others, but realize there are choices to make and His ways are higher and better, and what we might see as failure or defeat but He had made a way of escape. He can make a way where there none. And He can heal hearts.
He expects us to do the works He prepared for us, not everything or everyone will be that work. Let Him guide you, and let Him carry you in His rest. His yoke is easy and light not bondage or slavery. You are not a Christian doormat or maid, your answers are yes and no. Maybe, a few no’s are in order. Polite, no’s. Anger is a terrible, it keeps you up nights, even if it is not yours.
And making it up to Jesus, He forgives you for trying to control things out of your control, all He expects is our love. He heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds. Psalm 147:3 I am doing a little writing and editing on Valentine’s Day, and I am including a piece of artwork from one of my many heart boards on Pinterest, stop by and visit me. Maybe this is how God looks at hearts that heal.
Valerie Elash . Unsplash