If you have read my blog, you might know I emphasize the love of Christ, but I have had to deal with some serious topics I might not want to get into but I have to. I try not to get into personal lives, your life and salvation are between you and Christ. I have told people I don’t even want to know all your sins. I am not a confessor, I am a confidante, what you tell me goes only as far as my mother to pray for you. If I write anything that was advice or similarities, I won’t use your real name, unless you tell me to , I have had someone do that, and also a couple refuse an interview even though their daughter received a miracle.
My views on marriage are based on God’s Word, and I have to tell you the submission factor is something I know a lot of women deal with. Believe me, I understand. I have seen women bullied and oppressed and dare I say tormented over this, and they are not bad people. I have seen the husbands go off the proverbial deep end, even ministers. Remember the case where the woman shot her pastor husband? How sad for her and the daughters, and a rip in a church and community. Scandal is nothing new. There are ministers who don’t get far in ministry because they won’t give up adultery.
I have seen women called to ministry, with unsupportive husbands, and even some who believe women are not to minister. I saw one Christian lady, who is a public official say she wanted one thing and her husband made her study a particular field of law. I watched a lady at a church walk behind, not beside her husband, dressed in his suit and clutching a Bible, three children between them, well dressed, nice looking family, but walking in formation like lock step little Nazis, who dare not defy their dictator, that is not too overstated, it happened. To me, that is not Christ. I don’t think they should have be unruly or anything but not obedient out of fear.
I see women who have had to go to one denomination of church only, with no freedom when they seek spiritual gifts. I have seen them demonized for operating in those gifts, when they are in no way practicing the occult, Quite the opposite. I have seen women go backward in their gifts and callings and not fulfill them in their own lives or those of others for the sake of submission. I have even seen them lose opportunities, and face financial difficulties.
And now, the good part. While women are supposed to be in submission to their husbands, the husband is supposed to be in submission to Christ. And He intended intimacy, with Him holding the threefold cord together. In fact, you are not supposed to deprive yourself, except for times of prayer and fasting. And it can just be closeness, though He expects married people to enjoy their love life.
The man is the spiritual head of the house, He is supposed to give himself as Christ gave His life, the wife is beloved and cherished, not made to think she is unworthy or inept. There should be communication and respect. women will submit to a loving husband, when they can feel trust and security. And when the house has peace and is not a battlefield. Being in submission means you are on the same mission, whether raising a family, running a business, or in ministry. And God draws you to that mission when He is lifted up, when love rules and not fear or abuse of authority.
I do believe that marriage is between a man and a woman and He intended that for a reason. Men can be masculine and sensitive, women can be feminine and strong. God is definitely male as Father, but because He possessed the qualities of strength, as Abba, the Hebrew word picture an ox and the love and mercy of a mother, He created both men and women, and the women, He gave a womb, also from the Hebrew word for mercy, rechem.
Because of cruelty, childhood trauma or abuse, peer pressures, women do turn to women and men to men, some out of sheer disobedience which is sinful and rebellious, they are not going to be told what to do. And others who are just looking for tenderness, God can change your confusion, about gender roles or otherwise to peace, will you give Him a chance to? If you know someone with this struggle will you share that with them?
I know people have all kinds of problems. I never dreamed I could be of help to anyone whom I did not have the same experiences as, but I can because I know love and I know the Father who gave us Jesus. He gave His life, He was cruelly crucified, and the Father who loved Him looked away to save us sinners big or little, He will not hold us blameless if we refuse Christ though. Is anything worth being separated from true love for all eternity?
So women, if you are single, wait for the right person. His love is enough, it holds you close. And if you are married, to an unbeliever, your children are sanctified, you can with the husband with your demeanor, ask the Lord to help you pray and give you favor and grace in the marriage. If you are not in submission, arguing over little things, it needs to stop. If you put the Lord first, He will make it last. That is really for both believers and non ones.
And if you are in submission and know that husband is wrong, you can’t change him only the Lord can, so pray for God to speak to his heart, do your part and rest in God’s love for you. You don’t have to argue, but you are also not a doormat. God hates abuse, and if He sees you are in need of intervention, He can make a safe way for you to leave. But don’t deprive your husband of seeing God’s love in you, that doesn’t mean forgiving a liar or abusee who will never change. I don’t want to advise you or encourage you into being hurt, I am confident though He will discern and grant women wisdom and His peace.
God is depicted as the spiritual husband of Israel and then there is Jesus our beloved bridegroom, get to know Jesus before you get married or get to know Him better if you are, submit to God and that enemy will flee, he has no place meddling in the marriages of a believer, he likes nothing better than to cause division, but I pray the Lord multiplies grace and peace instead. I truly hope this helps someone today.