I have had to come to the conclusion that there are things I can’t fix. Problems I can’t solve and people I cannot help. I’m just doing my best to emulate a loving Lord. I am not Him, and there were people who would not receive from Him. I have learned to let go and not look back but forward. And it wasn’t easy, in fact, it may be the hardest thing to do to let go of someone or something you love, and want to see mended.
If you you knew me, and you knew my heart, you see a woman who likes to see the mended. I am a stickler for keeping puzzle pieces together. I have glued countless items. Angel wings, hands, bookbindings because I collect angels and sometimes things happen. And I love books. I am extraordinarily overprotective of my treasures, though the best ones are often unseen and in the heavenly realm. I even bought the last angel off the shelf one year. He looked so alone. A few years later I gave him to a little neighbor girl who ignored him for a while but now adores him, she’s only four.
Once, I even bought a cute ornament, a cute puppy of some sort, but it had a chipped paw. No one will notice among many ornaments and a little marker would help, or maybe it is just a little white stocking or sock. I just could not leave it. Is that a character flaw or the Jesus in me, or some of both? I did round up stray cats for a while, I got bit, it was cold and hard work. I guess I am a do gooder or a goody two shoes, holier than thou, yeah, I caught that more than once.
A part of my heart was as broken as those things and people I have tried to help. The Lord restores, and it is only He who complete us. I can fill the gaps, but there are still cracks, cracks in our armor but not His. I know that there are those who feel lost and lonely at Christmas but they really are all the time, the most joyous of seasons just wrenches it out even more.
My mother is the doll collector, looking for a public domain picture runs you across some creepy pictures. This one is not so bad or macabre. She had a pretty girl with glasses in a red velvet Christmas dress, her hair was braided atop her head, back in the day when mine was long, I had even worn mine like that. I broke that doll one day, her face was smashed in. I was able to fix her but she is still cracked. You can see the lines on her cherubic face, but she is still beautiful, I tucked her away, I could have easily tossed her as so many would have but her name was Becky, and she did remind me of myself.
I have seen children destroy toys, a little girl who would twist Barbie legs into impossible gymnastic poses, before decapitating them, break motorcycles and the most cardinal of sins to me, write in their storybooks. And yes, I know, I make Bible notes, and now there are coloring Bibles. But I am ticked off to see a child go through a coloring book, and just scribble on each page, or write through their storybooks, that I loved as a child, and I had very few of and they were read again and again, and I was never bored. I suppose I was always very blessed, whatever was broken in me had always been sealed by a more powerful glue, His blood and Spirit.
I read how pottery was mended in the Bible. Not everyone could run down to the potter’s house when something broke, especially, if you were in the fields or on the plain, or living a nomadic, and somewhat primitive life. It was a mixture that included lamb’s blood. Get the picture? The blood of the Lamb cleanses us from all unrighteousness, making us righteous, but He was cursed by being crucified. He knew no sin and was made sin for us. So why do so many of us remain broken?
For some it is a choice, they don’t want to be mended. I once watched the nuns who carefully mended the Shroud of Turin. For others, it may just take too long and they give up, the process can be painstaking, repetitive and tedious, and yet Jesus healed and delivered instantly. Why then does it take so long, perhaps we just to expect Him to move for us, it is everyone’s own soul search, and He has the answer.
He can’t put the new wine of His Spirit into old wineskins or they will crack. We all have a measure of His Spirit at salvation, and are told to desire spiritual gifts. While we should be brimming over, a lot of us still could use some mending. But don’t despair, you don’t have to give up or in. there is nothing broken that He cannot mend, and He won’t leave gaps or cracks but will restore even better than before, a brand new creation and masterpiece in Christ.
We have all had a cherished possession get broken, seen a precious loved one broken through their own bad choices and sometimes just from spiritual attacks, isn’t it incumbent on us especially at Christmas to say an extra prayer of peace for these souls. To do something nice for them if you can, or to just let go and look forward, like the time Jesus made me throw away the broken law statue of Him. I mean, I just could not bear to do it. See the link and read the post if you wish.
People often like to say that we are all broken, flawed or imperfect in some way. We are not giving Him enough credit, for He broke my heart at eleven and kept pouring His Spirit in, He loves to perfect His children and protect them, so let Him finish the work he began, even if it was in childhood. You are not a memory, a misfit, a mistake or work in progress, He finished it at the cross, so let Him complete you, He’s mending the broken and we’re on the mend. Rebecca Jones / public domain
- I have been looking for the doll to put a picture but haven’t found the right box yet.