Not In My Own Strength


I could have used one of those warrior women pictures but decided to go with a delicate beauty instead.  I am fair, though I was not a weakling, I had the back problems, so I wasn’t a great runner or even walker, but I once was good at jazzercise and stationary biking. I never had a real bicycle. Supposedly, the family story goes I rode my tricycle complete with roaring tigger-roo horn down a hill and that was that. Isn’t it funny the things you never seem to live down?

But it’s not so funny the things you never get over. The devil is a liar and the thief of life, he manages to work his way into the best of plans. That’s why it is better to let go and let God  take of these fragile, feminine meanderings and yearnings of a woman’s heart.

I have always ministered to others needs and neglected my own. I had to change that. I didn’t put me first, I put Him first. It’s His place anyway. It is His breath I breath, His words I type and even His song I sing. I am nothing with the Lord loving me, a nobody, a nothing.

The world will trample right on by you, especially, if you are being still to hear God. It will mock, reject, even curse you and rebuke you. But instead of quashing or crushing my faith, it strengthens my resolve. I am a child of faith and I went down my hill and back up, over and through days of valleys and peaks. The days were rocky and full of crevasses but I went through, like a trooper with Jesus, it was never my strength but His, I should have known that while I was being told to exercise my faith, it was Him all along.

He didn’t create me weak but allowed weaknesses in me so I would lean on and rely on Him fully. He knows the times I tried to go off on my own, I was left out, run over and down. I could never get ahead and yet I surpassed anything i could have imagined. I am truly blessed to be a blessing and I pray to be one.

And I will be one, because I have discovered that it’s not me anyway, it’s Him. I am weak but He is strong, yes, Jesus loves me. The Bible tells me so. A fragile, feminine, soul with delicate dreams, I am a kneeling warrior princess, my sword is His Word. I am blessed, not in my strength but in His, not my might but His, not my spirit, but His.

I will never win a single battle, indeed I will lose the war to the adversary, if I fail to remember, I am not fighting alone, but in His strength, not mine. I am not the victim but I have victory in Jesus. Rebecca Jones


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