It’s Not About Sparks!


It happens to everyone sooner or later, that moment when you see him or her and sparks fly. You get closer, shyly, you get up the nerve to speak and the lump in your throat is swallowed and the butterflies in your stomach are fluttering to get out of the way, and you’re in love.

You hear wedding bells, and birds singing and all is right with the world. And God is in heaven. But it’s not about the sparks. Nor the physical aspects. When life hits and it does, things spiral quite differently, a few bills and a screaming child or two, a lost job or moving back with parents. Life can get out of control.

The no more nights out with the guys. ” Why can’t you help some and stop watching sports?” “I work all day and what do you do, nothing! “, even though your holding a baby and stirring the spaghetti for dinner and the washer and dryer are going, and the vacuum is still sitting there.

And add few drinks, or an illness, or the living with relatives who don’t see eye to eye and it’s a powder keg. The coos and cuddles are quickly spouting volcanoes of ” I hate you, or I don’t love you anymore. ” And you begin to wonder if he/she ever did.

Marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman and God. It is as the preacher says not to be entered into lightly. It really helps to have a plan, to wait on the intimacy and children, to have savings. But even the most well laid plans go awry. Because we make them, when God has better plans.

The good news is that it’s not hopeless when you turn to Jesus. Even though one may be a believer and not the other. One can win the other. You can  win with your words, and lack of, and I mean stop arguing over silly things. Men, talk to her, and I mean talk. Not grumble or snort, pay attention!

And women, crying and hystreonics won’t work, either. Going before the Lord in a quiet place will. Weep in His arms. He will comfort you if your husband can or will not. He has answers. Keep them in your heart. Do what He says. seek out godly and gracious women. Confide in very few.

And men, if you are abusing your role as a husband or father, God will deal with you as well. He knows if you were hurt. But you must talk, and listen. You can be angry and not sin. You wife is there to help you, not to be hurt by you, no matter what she says or does. There are better ways to deal with pain than to cause more pain.

When love comes and sparks fly, it was never meant to be come a battlefield. Tempers were not supposed to flare into fireworks, and the night was not meant for the red and blue flashing lights and sirens, not the black eyes or bruises or broken bones, nor the children crying for a mother, bleeding and battered, heartbroken, who must face humiliation, hide from the neighbors, wear sunglasses and long sleeves, make constant and lousy excuses.

The night was made and called good. For the beauty of the stars that blanket the sky as we rest benath ours. It was made to be peaceful, a journey to the still and secret place of prayerful renewal. Women were made to love and be loved, but as care givers, they often need more rest, a little more attention, a few more acts and words of kindness.

And men were made to be husbands and fathers, but they need to know the Heavenly Father, who can correct with a word and not a fist. Who can comfort without condemning. Who can counsel without constant criticism. Ask you Heavenly Father to forgive you and seed His wisdom, you were meant to be the daddies not the dictators.

I am guilty of not being perfect. Only Jesus is that. But if He lives in you and you and Him, we can do better. We can love deeper. We can calm, quieter, and sleep more soundly. We have a gentle Jesus, with explosive power, that causes demons to tremble, not His children.

Sparks fly, love is an ember, holy love as God gives is kindled and is a flame and a fire of the Holy Spirit within. Yes, we can sleep sound in Jesus. I hate abuse and I know He does. Stop the violence, before it is too late. There is an eternal flame waiting for you if you don’t! I pray you get some sense and angels get out and get to work. Open eyes and hearts. So spark the love but leave the fireworks for the 4th of July. And God is still in His heaven. Rebecca Jones

*** If you need help please contact someone, never stay in a dangerous situation.


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