No More Mr. Nice Girl!


photograph Terri C. Thank you.


I’ve been reading a lot this past week about accusations, dealing with difficult people. There are unfortunately some who just won’t forgive, accept apologies or let go. I read about a woman suffering depression who is very successful and even in her darkest days had not considered herself as hurt, but an accusation sent  her reeling because it was false.

Another woman had trouble organizing a church group. She manages to get volunteers, even recruiting family, but was stung by harsh criticism until she asked the woman to have her husband take a dayoff work to help. That silenced her. That’s wisdom.

As the accuser of the brethren, both night and day, the devil is happy to trouble you with any thing he can. I was naive, I didn’t believe that Christians would be so against you.Truly, they can be worse. A little knowledge is dangerous, lack of it is deadly. That old serpent is ready to strike, coiled and counterfeit, he waits for you grow weary in well doing, he throws darts and daggers. You might even begin to feel like a carnival act as the knife thrower hurls blade after blade at the wife on the spinning wheel.

And he will spew venom, it is toxic in your atmosphere, it is poison. It will go after your very breath. A tongue that is forked in falsehoods, half truths, and point blank lies. Even lies, little white ones to spare someone are really not necessary. Suppose someone whips out a family photo, if it’s a really good one I say so. I like to capture the moment, no red eye, everyone smiling, but even if it’s not so great, I still say, ” Oh, nice family. ” It’s called being kind. And it’s a fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace. patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, against such there is no law. Galatians 5:25

I admit self control is a work in progress. I am not always the gracious one as Jesus is. He held His tongue, before accusers. Yet, there were times He spoke out. That’s the key, we should ask the Holy Spirit to help us with this one, I know I will. I’m a work in progress, I am not ashamed to admit it. But Jesus does not condemn me now or ever, nor will He. He knows my heart.

And the wicked one’s plans whatever they are I ask Him to cancel them in His holy name, in Jesus name, His holy name. I have been so tired of dealing with these kinds of people, Jesus must feel the same, He loves us so. But we are so busy arguing amongst each other, or trying to diffuse difficult situations, that we miss Him.

Fianlly, the accuser can be a constrictor, he will pressure and crush, the very hopes or dreams or life right out of you…..if you let him. I read the most wonderful thing on Facebook and reposted it, how the blood of Jesus cleanses you and erases all the accusations against you. And remember Jesus own words, ” Where are thy accusers? ”

He doesn’t condemn us. Why do we do it to ourselves or allow the others the pleasure of it? It is true about Southern girls, we are taught to be nice, and that seen is as beauty does. But I was under verbal abuse that way, from the enemy, other believers and even children. I you disapprove of bad behavior. Someone accused me of not liking children. I actually had that said to me.

Years later, it hurts. I know that now. I let other peoples opinions define me, but only God’s mattered. That comment flew in the face of what God says anyway, you correct those you love. He does. I would, I believe you would.

I was always too nice, the pushover, the helper outer, the one who got guilted into things and even felt guilty about things there was no reason to. I carried more guilt and shame that sinners. I see people all time who have no sense of shame. I can’t say if I were them I would feel guilty because in their shoes I’d be them and go on sinning. I used to think I was even if I wasn’t.

Now, please remember in Job’s day, which was probably in Joseph’s time, there were no Ten Commandments, no law, they were under grace. He was a righteous man, but with no blood bought better covenant of Christ, the devil came to accuse him. Contrary to populary belief, God did not sick him on poor old Job. He asked had he considered him, after walking to and fro on the earth. God always knows what the devil is up to. Not the other way around.

Today, he had no right to go near and accuse because the blood of Jesus is there. He is in the Holy of Holies, He is the High Priest of our profession. The devil will still accuse, and get into our thoughts, and he has minions, the demonic kind and those who lack wisdom or love. If anyone thnks they know it all, they have a lot to learn. The devil has no right to stand there.

So, no more Mr. Nice Girl, I have to silence him, not by being ugly, but by being bold, going boldly before the throne of grace and receive from Jesus, the appropriate answer, for the appropriate time. the wisdom and courage to speak it and the grace to let go.

If there are people you can not get along with or make peace with them. It’s okay, time to dust yourself off and start again. Being nice will work with most people, I wish I had heard more teaching about love than fear. I wish someone had been there for me or nice to me. I wanted Jesus to fix my problems, but He had to fix me first. I was weak, but He was strong. He saw that, wants me to rely on Him, lean into Him.

If some people perceive you as too nice, they might just see it as weakness. That’s why the Holy Spirit will give you the words to say. And the boldness to say them and the ability to discern and diffuse, and even the power, the dunamis to overcome. The devil doesn’t take you seriously, he’s petrified you will know you are under grace and in the righteousness of God.

I don’t have to fight or be a warrior except in prayer, He defends me. I don’t have to be nice or passive and never say anything is wrong or even super picky charismatic about words. Jesus even loved those He called vipers, so if I am accused, it’s false. With Jesus I am in good company, and it will never define me or settle into my soul ever again, and I still think I’m pretty nice, in a tough cookie way. Rebecca Jones

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3 thoughts on “No More Mr. Nice Girl!”

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