It is good that the heart be established by grace…
Isn’t that great? I wish I’d truly understood grace before. Of course, I knew it was nothing I had done. I knew grace was a gift and not from works. And still I never understood that I was doing just that, working for my salvation and trying to get Jesus to heal me because I knew He did and would.
You see, I was watching ministers and hearing about faith, and that faith came by hearing, about it moving mountains and a lot about what you said. I studied, I learned a lot, I was in more spiritual attacks. though all these a true statements. I never understood the depths of that love, and I had His love abiding in me. So I knew I could ask whatever… and He would do it. And of course, it was never anything contrary to His Word.
I am in no way debunking ministers, but they are human too. Sometimes, they miss it or maybe it’s just that I did. But I was studying so much, I was missing love. I had read 1 Corinthians 13. Still, thought I was not easily provoked, or at least most of the time, because I was conscious of what I said in faith, I was being provoked, offended, and just plain hurt and even by some things said by Christians and ministers. I know that are they to correct, but not to hurt.
The truth is grace is there every morning. Grace and truth are in the person of Jesus. He is alive in my heart and there to help at a moment’s notice. He is the love in me, the only love that matters or that can forgive, the hurtful and horrible, and heal any pain. Mine or yours.
The truth is that I was just never at rest, searching. Pursuing peace He had already left me. While it is truth that we must work for that rest, and that may seem ironic, it should not be so labor intensive. He calls us, the weary, heavy laden to come, He will give us rest.
When I finally heard a true grace message, fear, burdens, pain, years of labor and suffering began to melt and I was finally receiving from Him, the miracle He’s already intended to give me. A beautiful, wonderful, unopened gift with my name on it.
I should have been overjoyed but I wept uncontrollably, saddened at my losses from the wasted time. Sadened by the loss of love, His love that never condemned me, never left me and was not getting through to me as I tried hard to be a strong woman of faith. I knew healing was supposed to be a past event that Isaiah look ahead and saw it and that 2 Peter 2:24 says were healed putting in the past tense.
I truly thought I was doing something wrong. I gave up on end times, and even to a point the big faith messages, though they are not wrong. I do feel that sometimes, though people get to a point of waiting, and so used to waiting, and can get themselves bombarded in their hearts. We must check to see that we are in Christ, and not deceive ourselves into disqualifying ourselves. He knows your heart, if you love Him, believe Him, if you watch your words and behavior. He know. He knows we make mistakes and loves us regardless, He knows. He knows better that we know ourselves
A heart full of grace and favor will find rest and freedom in the Holy Spirit. He will withhold no good thing. A heart full of grace will know and love and desire Jesus and walk in His perfect love. And when the word is sown, it stays and springs from a well watered heart full of the Holy Spirit, it will bloom and be vibrant, in newness of life, forever young, healthy and loved because of His great love, grace is Jesus. He establishes our hearts. Sometimes, we just aren’t meant to be srong women of faith, we have to be weak, so He can be strong. Grace upon grace. May God bless you with grace today. Rebecca Jones