By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established. Proverbs 24:3
We have already read about a wise woman building her house. She builds it up with her hands while a foolish one tears it down with hers. We could also say with her words. Go ahead and picture for yourself, the woman who can get out there and get dirty and carpenter, or the one who draws plans, decorates. Maybe, even paints or hangs curtains.
Now picture the brawling woman who is never content, and not comfortable with herself, arguing, breaking dishes. A worse case is one who never does housework, lazy, arrogant, angry and bitter, defiant. You never know what to say around her that will set her off.
The wise woman builds her house on faith, prays over her family. She is the peacemaker in squabbles, but will not tolerate disrespect. She will seek the Lord in every area of her life. She knows how to make do, to serve leftovers. She knows how to live in the abundance of Christ because of her giving and she knows how to manage if there is less. Since she knows she is a daughter of the King, that she is beloved, blessed and highly favored by the Lord that He is her provider, everything she touches will prosper and be worth and walk in white.
The brawling woman doesn’t know the Lord. She may know about Him but she may not have a loving, personal relationship with Him. Whether, unsaved or unskilled in the Word, she gives in to temptation, goes to bed angry, is focused on herself and not necessarily her family. Alcohol and drugs drive wedges, so does doubt and unbelief and being unequally yoked.
Paul addresses unbelieving spouses, the Lord covers the children because of the sanctification of the believer. Though they still will have to accept Jesus as Lord, His promise is for your house. It becomes the duty of the husband or wife to win the other over by demonstrating the love of God. I know this can be difficult, but it not impossible.
The Lord will never allow you to stay in an abusive situation. He does not want your life or your children’s in danger. A few arguments over minor things, a few verbal jabs will come from unbelievers, and I’m sorry to say, sometimes even believers but it is not necessarily time for lawyers. Be quick to forgive, don’t go to bed angry and talk calmly. Try to obey the Holy Spirit, He can rekindle lost love and if it was not love, He can make it new. And He can tell you if you should leave.
People that are hurting hurt each other, but people will also lie, deceive, and try to control you. This is why we need the Holy Spirit as a guide to discernment. Sickness and disease and mental oppression are also things that cause women to become angry and brawlers. Long term grief, illness and pain, can make an irritable woman into a monster. They still need consideration and prayer, perhaps counseling.
Whichever you are, you are loved. Don’t think of yourself too highly as a wise woman, give Him the glory. Don’t be arrogant, be confident in Him. and if you are somewhere in between as a lot of us may be, let’s lean into wisdom, she a sister to hold our hand. And should you be suffering physically, mentally or psychologically, there is hope for you. His name is Jesus.
He came to die for you. He loves you in your mess and He can love you right out of it. And if it takes a while it’s worth it, but then there are those times, it is immediate, so reach for the hem of His garment. Rebecca Jones