I have learned more about rest in the past year than I ever dreamed possible. I was so used to facing the guilt trips and the stigma of overweight and lazy, that I never rested. I didn’t sleep well. I dragged through 18 hr days of care giving.
I was trying to be a good daughter, day care provider, friend and Christian. I watched lots of ministry, read lots of books. And still found no rest. It was day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year of exhaustion and illness. No rest for the weary.
I didn’t know about computers. I thought they were just for games. I had some fears lingering and when I got one, I just worked on an art program and made stationery. I typed Bible Studies for a home group. All the while, this time, it seemed there was no one telling me about rest. Truthfully, I was not in a regular church.
I knew my health would not let me participate in many things, I was studying healing. I met lots of Christians. Not a single one has ever offered to pray for me. I met ministers. I didn’t like most of them, to be honest. And a lot of people have an attitude like, ” What you do know about….whatever, you fill it in? ” Isn’t anyone nice anymore?
Even people in the ministry can be condescending, rude and downright mean. My poodle had just been put to sleep, and one minister I like to watched actually said, ” What, you can’t go on because the dog died? ” I promise you, it’s true.
There is a reason, Jesus said to let the dead bury the dead, He was speaking of spiritually dead people. We all were, and really still are, if we can’t rest in His peace. If you don’t receive His rest, you may be inscribing it on a stone somewhere. But we are inscribed in His palms, in the very wounds that heal ours.
He had healed Cozy, gave her some more time. She was pure joy, and it was heartbreaking to lose her and have some insensitive man spout his opinion, not God’s. Just like another one who said flatly, ” If you weigh 300 lbs, you need to lose it. ” Well listen Buster, ” You have an attitude, and you need to lose it. ” I was made fun of at every weight.
Jesus didn’t divide people out based on size or nationality. He went to the well, out of His way for a Samaritan woman. He healed a man in church, over objections. What kind of people wouldn’t want to see someone healed? He met people at their level and commended great faith. We have to grow in it and you won’t if you don’t love.
I know I have said things I should not have, but I wasn’t on television, I’d be more careful. I wasn’t in the pulpit, I’d be more careful. There are things that should be stated matter of factly. And yes, it should bring conviction of sin from the Holy Spirit but never a pounding condemnation which Jesus won’t do. Romans 8:1 But cruelty, is another instance entirely.
I want to apologize for not blogging sooner. I might have missed an opportunity to help someone. But I hope my prayers covered you in my absence. I want to help you not hurt you. If I write anything that hurts or offends you I am sorry, but if it’s something the Lord has dealt with me about, maybe He is dealing with you too.
Sometimes, if it makes us mad or if we are offended it could be what someone is saying is true and we need the Lord’s help in a matter, other times, it’s just them voicing an opinion, like I hate tattoos, which I do. But see, I know God’s looking at your heart and I know He loves you and me, and even our pets. He knows we love them.
And if you’ve got a butterfly tattoo on you or on your shirt or in a clip in your hair, whether they light up your shoes or are sewn into a jean pocket. I hope He sees your little butterfly heart resting in Him, because you need His rest. Rest your wings, you have far to fly. Rebecca Jones
Father, in Jesus name, I pray for my readers, I hope they do have the peaceful and light butterfly heart. Let them sensitive to you Spirit and resistant to the insensitivity of others.