Love Should Not Hurt


This is an open letter to women. Short or tall, heavy or thin, Asian or Hispanic, black or white. Married or not. Christian or not. Whether you have children or not. If you have a degree from Harvard or the school of hard knocks, if you work in a convenience store or a corporation, I understand. I feel for you. I cry with you.

It happens everyday doesn’t it? Something isn’t right and he goes ballistic. Maybe, it’s not what he wants for dinner and the house isn’t clean enough, he won’t help because he works, and what do you do all day? Just stay with the kids, sleep on the couch or watch television? Did you trap him into marriage by getting pregnant? Are you trying to?

Maybe, you’ve overdrawn your account, charged something, wrecked the car? Maybe, it s nothing, perhaps it extends into the bedroom. You’re my wife!  You’re my girlfriend! Look what you made me do, you deserved it. These words cut you to ribbons and pierce your heart as a woman. You can hide bruises and black eyes but not from God.

God made you unique! You have a womb! You can bear children. From the beginning the devil has took aim at you. The attack began in a garden, and will not end until Jesus returns. The enemy was privy to the plan of salvation. He wanted to destroy the bloodline of Jesus, but failed. He failed miserablely. God forgave the harlot Rahab and the idol worshiper Ruth. They are in His history, so you see, there’s hope for you.

Whether you or a call girl or upper middle class, have been married to one man thirty years or have slept with dozens for money or drugs, He cares. He loves you. Whether  you sought money, the fast track,  whatever you idolized. He cares, He loves you. He did not create you to abuse or to be abused. Nor your children. But this is for women.

Don’t you know He cares for the smallest sparrow? Does not want you to worry? To be in lack or poverty? And He does not want you to live afraid! Ever! I love you enough to tell you the truth. You open the door to the enemy when you give your body away, when you do drugs, are an alcoholic, when you practice the occult, step on people to get ahead, let your temper get the better of you. If you throw things, slap, hit or are are foul mouthed, if you are verbally abusive. You’ve opened your front door to the devil and he’s invited himself as a permanent houseguest. And he’ll never leave. Not until you change. Don’t pray for your husband to, pray for God to show him His love, by changing you.

I am not in any way, by any means telling you to stay in a dangerous situation. God would not allow me to do that! I am also not blaming you. But He wants to help you, He longs to help you, if you are a believer, you are the apple of His eye, His beloved, His pearl of great price. Won’t you wake from a sleep of suffering and start to build your house on the rock that is Jesus. It is not too late to call on Him.

It is not too late to call on Him if you are a sinner. If you the worst drug addict ever, alcoholic, I’ve watched people die like that, too fast, too young, wasting away into the pits of hell convinced by the devil’s lies that they are okay. They’ve done a few good things. People that are rotten apples, spoiled fruit, without self control and out of control.They listen to no one and account to nobody. Never does it enter their minds that they will one day account to God. They are selfish, narcissistic and pessimistc. They walk around with a fried brain and suicidal and even homicidal tendencies. Their lives are nothing but arguing and violence, and they are angry if you say something,even to help, about one or the other, even though they can beat each other senseless.

I had never even heard the phrase, choke her out. I did not know heroin was such a problem. I lived in my Christian world overloved and overprotected by God and prayed for people. I did not ever think that the television shows I used to enjoy in the eighties, with your occasional drug dealer and hooker and gang banger would turn into shows with constant autopsies and worse. The Pope was right to say that we lived in a culture of death. Now I watch reruns and people picking antiques, even some of the cooking programs are  laced with profanity.

If you live in anything less than love, joy and peace. You are not living in God’s best for you. No one is immune to spiritual attacks, the devil will come for the Word, the spoken and written word. But he doesn’t have to get it, your promises, your faith, hang on. God is hanging on with you. If you are a believer, the greater one lives in you. If you are not, He’s a whisper away. Stop selling your body and soul, stop compromising. You may not think you are worth it but Jesus died to make you worthy.

He sees your tears, He knows the depths of your pain. He sees your heart and soul and knows the causes, the root that put bitterness or even hate into you. Did you even know it was there? Can you forgive? If you will, He will heal that wound. He will see that the blood of Jesus covers it and the Holy Spirit can seal and remove even the deepest of scar tissue, from the hardest of hearts, to the most broken of the broken hearted..

Only someone that has been hurt, can be cruel enough to hurt. Most of us move on, hide pain, anger, disappointment. But it festers beneath and boils up to the surface, making you mad enough, like your blood is boiling. Someone scratches the scab, it’s minor. Slaps the hand after the cookies, not so bad. But let them hold something over your head in condemnation, it’s a bitter pill. Let them speak evil of your good, accuse you falsely or slander you, embarrass you publicly, shame you, keep you away from friends and family, put you down. Even being full of Holy Spirit, you can get very angry, be driven to voice opinions.

It doesn’t matter if you internalize everything and anything. Sob yourself to sleep alone or have a husband you can’t locate. Is he gone? Having an affair? Has something happened to him? Would you even care anymore? I’m painting a bleak picture, my life has had very few tangles, so I can only imagine the way others are forced to live. But I mean it, I cry for you, just as Jesus wept.

And the men must have hurts too, something running deep. There is no way any man should ever put his hands on a women except in love. It is not an excuse to abuse others because you have been! Don’t give the devil places! It’s not about men against women, in elections, in church or the business world. It’s about God being for us!

I must tell you to call out the good in your husband, even if you have to walk away from saying something bad. Remember the Golden Rule. Psychlogists have ratios for happy marriages but I only have one, it’s Jesus. And don’t hold being single against me, I won’t settle, don’t you. Rebecca Jones

Come share words that will build up & bless others at the Intentional Tuesday Linkup

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