Today started out rough, actually, it started last night. But when trouble came calling to my soul, the Lord was there, a lot of thoughts went through my mind, but not nearly as many as before. I had to rest, turn over a care that was way too much for me and trust Him with it. I spent so much time trying to be a tough, strong and independent woman of God, that I was forgetting I was His daughter, still His little girl.
So, in the middle of the night the bathroom light went on again and the light bulb over my head went on again. I decided to roll that care over. Fear is like a stone rolled off your heart. I prayed for angels to watch over us, and asked Jesus, Himself to step into the situation, if necessary. I have seen Him do this many times but only once where it was as if I could see Him coming between me and the danger. It was that real and His presence that great.
I studied under a lot of charismatic teaching. I am not saying it is wrong. Words and thoughts become actions, and I do believe in speaking faith. I also believe in speaking it in hope and love. A lot of time I felt that my formula for success was speaking faith, if I wasn’t receiving, it was my fault somehow. I didn’t have enough faith. That was wrong. We need to depend on Jesus, for everything.
It’s not that Jesus wants us to be weaklings, but He was the one who suffered, who was beaten and humiliated publicly, He paid for the redemption, salvation and healing and so much more, in His very own body and with His own blood. So a God that would sacrifice His own beloved Son to save us would surely not deny the healing or the need. He sent Abraham up the mountain with Isaac, but He would not allow a human sacrifice. So many pagan religions did and I guess some still do.
To save His creation, mankind, He devised a plan of salvation. God, Himself, in the form of His own son Jesus, paid the penalty to redeem anyone, from anywhere, who would call on Him and believe He was indeed the Son of God who died and rose again. He was the only human sacrifice, accepted by God as an atonement for sin.
Doesn’t this kind of love stagger your mind? Other gods you must sacrifice to or die for, or they dominate you, humiliate you, drag you into all sorts of chaos and confusion. But God sent Jesus to save, not to condemn, not to control but give us self control and fruits of the spirit. He is willing to save. Mighty to save, more than willing to heal and deliver, to set the captives free. But He requires true repentance, a contrite and broken spirit.
So many people know about Jesus but don’t know Him. I know Him. I made it a point to know Him, to search Him out, to seek His face. He was always there in the person of the Holy Spirit. I didn’t realize how much. All the time I wasted trying to be some strong faith warrior, sometimes, kept me a faith worrier.
I’ve walked the floor, slept with a Bible, prayed redundant prayers. But God is nothing but love, pure love, holy love, I want it to flow through me, and then I have healing, joy and peace. In my messes, and successes and my tears. He’s my Father, my Papa, Abba…..and I’m still His little girl.