Quiet! Ever catch yourself yelling that? I have. I longed and even ached for peace and quiet and I have it now, in spite of everyone else’s frenetic pace. I am now slow and steady, quiet before the Lamb.
If Jesus kept His mouth shut through that ordeal, surely, I could keep mine shut. You’d think??? But I was like Joseph, I told my dreams, I was like Jesus, my disciples scattered when trouble came or when we needed to stand in faith, I often felt abandoned, alone. I was excited to tell people the good news. I got questioned and criticism about my healing and my prayers. I tried to be quiet, to defend myself, but God will have to do the vindicating. I choose quiet now, because I need Jesus!
Sometimes, I was too quiet. I said nothing about my faith or dreams, only to God. But I still wasn’t quiet before the Lamb, not quiet enough to help myself to gain favor and rest and not quiet enough to hear Him, His gentle, tender, voice that is a whisper in the night, the still, small voice that called Samuel and is audible to a quiet, peaceful, spirit. I find myself sleeping prostrate at times, like a priest or a nun at an altar. Sometimes, I find myself with my hands folded. I pray, each night, each morning…..all day off and on. I pray out loud, I pray in the spirit, I pray quietly, too.
The other night I found myself praying, clutching a pillow. Moments later I was outstretched, quiet, I heard in the night, the whisper…..” Go limp before the Lord. ” As I relaxed, I was like a rag doll. I was weak and helpless, defenseless and totally dependent on Jesus. Suddenly, wave after wave came covering my soul. I was refreshed, rested in the quiet of the night. I can sleep, peacefully, without the specter of fear haunting me with past indecision or the worry of tomorrow. Jesus is already there. He’s waiting for me. So even during the day, I’m learning to break from the chaos. If it appears to others that I’m daydreaming, I don’t mind. I’m becoming quiet before the Lamb.