Vanity

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Vanity? Aren’t we all a little vain. I wouldn’t leave the house without makeup. I doubt if a dozen people have ever seen me without it.  I was asked if was sick.  Even when I was sick, I wore it. Recently though, when I was truly very ill, it was an effort to bathe, dress or anything. I could not even put my own socks on. My health was taking a turn for the worse, but I promised myself not to give up.  I read a phrase that said something like get up, dress up and show up.  It spoke to me.

I was not about to give up the abundant life Jesus promised when He had paid such a price for me and my healing. I prayed in the spirit. I spoke healing words over myself, I took Communion. I prayed against the enemy’s attack on my body, and mind.  Because he wants you to give up.  I turned my eyes on Jesus, He became my focus.  I found myself in less pain, walking better. I gradually got better. I always knew He would heal me. I had to create a healing environment for myself.

Having always been a caregiver, I had overdone it. No one was caring for me. I never really told anyone how bad I felt. I wasn’t about to do it to my mother, I had seen the toll her care giving had taken on her.  It is a very demanding role whether you are a nurse or mother or caring for someone with a disability. It is physical. It is mental and it taxes your strength, energy and emotions.  When we don’t renew and replenish ourselves with rest and faith, we can fall prey to the snare of the fowler. Now I pray that he falls into every traps he sets for me.

I have to be honest about speaking in tongues, I did not understand it. But it is a powerful gift that explodes in your spirit and brings you healing. I went to my mother and she prayed for me, she put me in her bed, I literally felt a hand go through my chest giving me a heart massage.  I had had a warning dream of being in the hospital, it was not a good dream or outcome.

Go to the doctor, take medicine. But never ignore the Lord. Never hesitate to pray. Vanity was not make up in my case, it was trying to be super human. I might follow Jesus closely, but I’m not Him. Practice His presence in prayer, trust Him, He’s looking at your heart anyway, He knows what it full of. Please don’t fill it with fear, envy, greed , lust or jealousy and likewise don’t fill it with so much preoccupation with others.

I used to say, ” Oh, it doesn’t matter about me. ” I was the one taking all the stress, the heat, the load. ” I’ll do that. ” or ” I’ll get that. ”  It mattered, I mattered to God and so do you!!!  I read, studied and prayed and  believed in healing, I had asked for my back to be healed years earlier, then came other ailments.  But you know what, it wasn’t supposed to all be on me because it was all on Him.

When you really realize that He is the healer!  He took the beating!  You are already healed! You can learn to walk at that level of faith in confidence in Him, not your ability to believe, you don’t have to be afraid that one day you’ll have great faith, and the moment a pain comes and few doubts, you’ll be ill.  He’s the same everyday and loves us everyday, and He knows if we have faith and love. Love matters! Life matters! Jesus matters!  And sure, look your best for Him, but don’t let that consume you, that would be vanity, but face it now matter how good we look, we need Him!  Be blessed, be healed, in Jesus name. Rebecca Jones

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