My father left when I was just under two, I never had a problem with it, until I grew up. Although I had a family and Christian home, I was alone in my thoughts and creativity. I knew my creative ways were from him, I thought my my mother didn’t understand that or maybe resented it. She assured me, I was wrong. She had her own hurts, I knew some, she probably never confided others. Suddenly, in my thirties I missed him. Why would he leave us, what had we done, what was wrong? The answer, nothing! Something in him was wrong. People everywhere must ask themselves the same question. Their answer is probably the same unless there was abuse, affairs or some reason for divorce.
Thankfully, he never bothered to contact us and I didn’t have to be shuffled between homes. That was a blessing. But then that little nag, what if he’d stayed. How would I be different? Would I be a better person? Live in a nice house? Have a good husband and great career, instead of struggling? The answer again is no.
I am my Father’s girl, Abba God. He created me creative. It was His DNA that inherited. It was His longing for me that my heart felt, it was Him, I was lonely for…it was Him I dearly loved, who meant the world to me. That kind of love exceeds natural human love. I had someone recommend a book to me, it talks about how people can have an orphan spirit, even though they have parents, it’s just a deep longing for God. It is not the kind of spirit that can be cast out, it’s just a longing, a loneliness. God is calling you.
I never knew that could be me, I just thought my prayers weren’t being answered or that I was doing something wrong or that I was supposed to wait, none of this is true. So if you are lonely today, look to God, seek His face, His wisdom. He will protect you, He will not leave you. You are His child, if you colored Him a rainbow, He’d put it on the refrigerator, He cheers you own walks you down the aisle. What a mighty God we serve, angels bow before Him, so should we, He’d pick us up, put us on His lap and tell us a story and how much He loves us.
None of us are ever truly orphans if we know Abba. Rebecca Jones
A father to orphans and an advocate for widows is God in his holy dwelling place. Psalm 68:5
I shall not leave you as orphans, for I shall come to you in a little while. John 16:18 / Jesus promising the Holy Spirit